So I just heard these lines from a song that I thought related to the post I just wrote... so I figured I'd add them on here.
"I'm not who I was when I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise You're not through with me yet."
He's changed me so much from when I took that first step... and I'm ever so thankful and can rest in the truth that He's not done with me yet! :)
Okie, that's all. Guess I'm just making up for not blogging in forever by writing two posts in one day. ;) 'Night!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
“A New Thing”
So I’ve been spending some time with God this evening, and He brought
me to Isaiah 43. I began reading and was enjoying the powerful words of this
chapter. The beginning has these beautiful verses: “Fear not, for I have
redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through
the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not
overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the
flame shall not consume you.” Powerful! I continued reading, forgetting that
these verses were in this chapter until I came to them:
“Remember not the
former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert” (Isaiah 43:18-19).
For those of you who were reading my blog before coming to China, you
may remember the significance of those verses in my life. I was, to say the
least, rather a disaster before moving here. I was overwhelmed with mixed
feelings over knowing God was leading me here, yet being completely devastated
over leaving my life, family, and friends back home. I was afraid of what I
would face here. I knew God would strengthen me, but I expected to struggle through
every day here. It was during a time with my dear friend, Carmen, that God
brought these verses to my mind. He spoke very clearly to me that day…
I am just a generally anxious person. For most of my life, I haven’t
done extremely well with any ‘new’ things. I don’t adjust to change very
smoothly—at least emotionally. I may appear on the outside to handle them well,
but I am normally an emotional basket case. So I expected nothing less…
actually much worse… from the China experience. Then God spoke: “Katherine,
stop remembering the way you’ve always been. Stop remembering the defeat you’ve
faced before and the struggles you’ve fought through. I want to do something new! It was quite clear to me that those
words were from Him… and I wanted with everything I had in me to believe them.
But I think all along there was still a piece of me that doubted. Oh, why do I
doubt?
He has blown my mind. I really feel like a different person… and I know
that it is by His grace alone. He makes all things new… and He doesn’t leave
His children unchanged. I am so very grateful for that. Looking back on my life
journey, I am in awe of the changes He has brought about in me. Life still
scares me sometimes. In fact, I have a Mandarin tutoring session tomorrow that still
gives me a few butterflies. But I can’t express to you the peace and joy He
gives me each day here. I read Psalm 86:12 today, which says, “I give thanks to
You, O Lord my God, with my whole heart, and I will glorify Your name forever”;
and I was led to stop and give thanks to Him… so I did. I wrote Him a thank you
note. Taking the time to stop and thank Him for the beautiful blessings He is
giving me each day here was a beautiful reminder. Put simply, guys, He is incredible! Let Him blow your mind!
Expect great things from Him! Why do we expect mediocrity out of the awesome God we know?
Let Him do a new thing in your life… oh, He so longs to…
Monday, November 7, 2011
Still here...
So somehow I ended up back on my blog tonight, remembering what a terrible job I've done of keeping up with it. Oops... I thought I was going to update this blog more than anything else, but I've actually ended up just sending update newsletters, which I OCD-edly put too much time into and never feel like writing on my blog. But here I am now... trying to be a good little blogging girl. :)
So as I decided I should write *something* to update this blog, I was wondering what I should write about, and I never quite came to a clear conclusion. I re-read the last post I wrote, and life is definitely different than it was then. God has been so faithful and patient with me as I've settled in here. Reading that blog, as well as some other reminders I've had over the past week, re-emphasized the importance to me of really *remembering* the things God brings us through. Today is the official 2-month mark of when I left home, and I already feel like I've forgotten what a tough time I had here at first. The whole experience was definitely easier than I expected overall, but it was still difficult, as I remembered as I read about my Tianjin experience I previously wrote about. I so easily forget... I forget God's goodness and faithfulness to bring us through each stage. In fact, today I've felt myself fighting falling into a sort of complacency here as life has gotten much more comfortable already. As I got ready for bed tonight, I found myself noting the need to be more constantly-focused on God, rather than myself. I live a rather selfish existence, constantly thinking about what will make me happier and more comfortable. Why? This life isn't about me at all... this China experience isn't about me... nothing is supposed to be all about me. So why do I make it that way? I need to surrender these selfish tendencies and trade them in for such a God-centered mindset that I am continually thinking about Him and how to bring Him glory. That, in turn, will give me a more others-centered mindset, as I bring Him glory through loving others. I feel really challenged here to share more boldly. I'm constantly surrounded by people that don't know Him, and I feel like I'm failing at doing my part in making Him known. I try to bring up conversation when I find a way to, but it definitely hasn't gone very deep. That's why I'm here... I mean, that's why we're anywhere... so it's a bit disheartening to think that I'm not succeeding at the reason I have for being here. So yeah, I guess I could use your prayers for that. I want to a be a bold light. People should be able to look at me, look at my life, and listen to my conversation... and instead of seeing just me, be able to see the God who's sent me here. So prayers, thoughts, advice, comments, or anything else about any of this is completely welcome. Hope you're all encouraged and abiding in Him. Abiding... that's what He put on my heart. I'm not abiding the way I should. It's easy to just live life, trying to please Him, but not actually *abiding* in Him. So now just to do something with what He's put on my heart... ;)
So as I decided I should write *something* to update this blog, I was wondering what I should write about, and I never quite came to a clear conclusion. I re-read the last post I wrote, and life is definitely different than it was then. God has been so faithful and patient with me as I've settled in here. Reading that blog, as well as some other reminders I've had over the past week, re-emphasized the importance to me of really *remembering* the things God brings us through. Today is the official 2-month mark of when I left home, and I already feel like I've forgotten what a tough time I had here at first. The whole experience was definitely easier than I expected overall, but it was still difficult, as I remembered as I read about my Tianjin experience I previously wrote about. I so easily forget... I forget God's goodness and faithfulness to bring us through each stage. In fact, today I've felt myself fighting falling into a sort of complacency here as life has gotten much more comfortable already. As I got ready for bed tonight, I found myself noting the need to be more constantly-focused on God, rather than myself. I live a rather selfish existence, constantly thinking about what will make me happier and more comfortable. Why? This life isn't about me at all... this China experience isn't about me... nothing is supposed to be all about me. So why do I make it that way? I need to surrender these selfish tendencies and trade them in for such a God-centered mindset that I am continually thinking about Him and how to bring Him glory. That, in turn, will give me a more others-centered mindset, as I bring Him glory through loving others. I feel really challenged here to share more boldly. I'm constantly surrounded by people that don't know Him, and I feel like I'm failing at doing my part in making Him known. I try to bring up conversation when I find a way to, but it definitely hasn't gone very deep. That's why I'm here... I mean, that's why we're anywhere... so it's a bit disheartening to think that I'm not succeeding at the reason I have for being here. So yeah, I guess I could use your prayers for that. I want to a be a bold light. People should be able to look at me, look at my life, and listen to my conversation... and instead of seeing just me, be able to see the God who's sent me here. So prayers, thoughts, advice, comments, or anything else about any of this is completely welcome. Hope you're all encouraged and abiding in Him. Abiding... that's what He put on my heart. I'm not abiding the way I should. It's easy to just live life, trying to please Him, but not actually *abiding* in Him. So now just to do something with what He's put on my heart... ;)
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